So im going into hospital tomorrow as im having my first port fitted on Friday.
Im going on IVs afterwards and my meds are being changed so im staying in hospital for a while. But thats okay, as ive got my friends supplying me with DVDs :D
Im pretty nervous about my op. Ive been getting really pissed off with people as ive been worrying about im scared about it, and people think that im being silly. I know its only a minor operation and such, but its still an operation!! The only one ive ever had was when i was a baby and i obviously dont remember that!
So im just going to keep feeling whatever i want and if people dont like it tough shit. They arent the ones in my shoes after all really, and so really havnt got a single clue while they go along with their happy healthy lives.
To be honest it might be nice to be in hospital for a while anyway, things have been a bit tense and stressy at the house im living in with friends and a few arguments have taken place. Mainly between me and other people, but if they actually took the time to listen to me and things then maybe arguing wouldnt happen. Im one of these people who will voice my opinion and thoughts about you whether you like it or not. Up to you to listen to me about them really. As long as i say my peace and theyve got nothing to say back to me, i leave it at that. I know some people have been talking about me behind my back, and behind closed doors, and i think personally that thats just cowardly! If people have something to say then say it to my face and at least give me the opportunity to explain and things, not just draw their own conclusions, as they really have no idea whats going on in my head!
But lately my moods have not been the best, and they really havnt been the best time to piss me off with petty things. So its not my fault for standing up to people and standing my ground. Wether i have to do that yelling or not i dont really care either way. People learn eventually that when im in that mood, you dont come near me, unless you want to loose your head.
So ive got plenty of films to watch and im taking some coursework in aswell so ill be kept pretty busy as i get sooo bored in hospital.
I also dont get internet in there and ive not got a dongle thing so i cant supply my own. So im going to write any blogs that i would do normally in a word doc and then copy and paste them in when i get internet back again, which will be when i come home.
Write again soon
xx
Wednesday 10 February 2010
Tuesday 2 February 2010
plain pissed off
I had a cold and its just suddenly come on one morning i woke feeling like id been run over and reversed on by a steam roller. I was so tired and fed up. When i was little and living with my mum, dad and sister if they all got a cold i would always some how manage to avoid it and be totally fine. I was always boasting about that i never got colds when i was younger. It lasted through most of seniors aswell up until about year 10/11. I think it changed coz of A. i was getting older and CF hates when you get older apparently and B. i was always wearing myself out studying for my GCSE's. After that it seemed okay and i went back to my normal cold skipping self.
Now a few years on i seem to constantly get colds no matter how warm i keep myself when out in winter and ive pretty much constantly got the heating on at home and then at uni, not that the uni house keeps the warmth very well. Im sometimes glad for a slight temperature living here just so i can get some warmth in me! Which is of course bad.
Like i said ive got/had a cold now and its left my sinus' and my head doesnt feel like its at sea anymore. But everything has migrated down onto my chest. Before when this has happened its lasted a few days maybe a week and then its not so bad.
This time i swear its out to land me in hospital! Im wheezing for the first time in absolute years and its seriously pissing me off!! I feel so out of breath just walking up the stairs to my room or to the bus stop. When i go outside my lungs ache soooo much coz im breathing in sudden cold air, and it just hurts. If im not with anyone i put my head phones on and go to another world. I like my other world im healthy and things are so much better than life in reality. I know my life isnt like total shit, but it seriously has its moments, and when it rains, it pours for me :| Any problems just all seem to come at once.
A good example would be the next few weeks. Ive got clinic today to sort me out before my port op as they need my chest to be as clear as possible - fat chance that happening when theres an elephant sat on it! - and then ive got my annual review on the 8th feb, then im admitted on the 11th Feb and have my op done on the morning of the 12th feb. Past that im unsure of whats happening, but i am so certain im going to be on IVs after my ports in. On top of all the hospital time and physio time at home i still need to attend lectures, and get all my assignment done. I have 6 modules and ive now got an assignment for each one, all due before Easter! God knows how im going to manage. I can speak to the disability people but they have changed all the rules and apparently last time i went onto IVs i wasnt entitled to exten circs and so my assignment was pretty shit when i handed it in. So im not going to be shocked if they say that im not entitled to them again. Which is bull shit as they changed it and still let the people with on going conditions be entitled to them. Depending what happens today i might speak to them. Even though it always seems such effort for them to pull their fingers out theirs arses.
Better go get ready for clinic, ill blog about that later.
Now a few years on i seem to constantly get colds no matter how warm i keep myself when out in winter and ive pretty much constantly got the heating on at home and then at uni, not that the uni house keeps the warmth very well. Im sometimes glad for a slight temperature living here just so i can get some warmth in me! Which is of course bad.
Like i said ive got/had a cold now and its left my sinus' and my head doesnt feel like its at sea anymore. But everything has migrated down onto my chest. Before when this has happened its lasted a few days maybe a week and then its not so bad.
This time i swear its out to land me in hospital! Im wheezing for the first time in absolute years and its seriously pissing me off!! I feel so out of breath just walking up the stairs to my room or to the bus stop. When i go outside my lungs ache soooo much coz im breathing in sudden cold air, and it just hurts. If im not with anyone i put my head phones on and go to another world. I like my other world im healthy and things are so much better than life in reality. I know my life isnt like total shit, but it seriously has its moments, and when it rains, it pours for me :| Any problems just all seem to come at once.
A good example would be the next few weeks. Ive got clinic today to sort me out before my port op as they need my chest to be as clear as possible - fat chance that happening when theres an elephant sat on it! - and then ive got my annual review on the 8th feb, then im admitted on the 11th Feb and have my op done on the morning of the 12th feb. Past that im unsure of whats happening, but i am so certain im going to be on IVs after my ports in. On top of all the hospital time and physio time at home i still need to attend lectures, and get all my assignment done. I have 6 modules and ive now got an assignment for each one, all due before Easter! God knows how im going to manage. I can speak to the disability people but they have changed all the rules and apparently last time i went onto IVs i wasnt entitled to exten circs and so my assignment was pretty shit when i handed it in. So im not going to be shocked if they say that im not entitled to them again. Which is bull shit as they changed it and still let the people with on going conditions be entitled to them. Depending what happens today i might speak to them. Even though it always seems such effort for them to pull their fingers out theirs arses.
Better go get ready for clinic, ill blog about that later.
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