Feeling Good :D

I'm feeling pretty good these past few days, so im taking the opportunity to write a blog about and make it a bit happier for a change :p

Ive finally been able to start at the gym near me!! Ive only done two work outs there so far and as my personal trainer is off for 5 days now im not back until the 16th. But those two days already have given me the chance to feel like my old self again!! Ive had energy that ive not known what to do with, granted im not waking up and jumping out of bed yet, but its a tiny step towards that! Though not being a morning person i doubt ill ever be bounding out of bed with energy haha! :)

My personal trainer is so nice! I had a consultation with him and explained about having CF and he wrote pretty much everything down that i said, and we filled out some questionnaire thing together to find out more about my condition and for their records as well. I was for once in my life, honest about how CF affects me and what it is and everything like that. I usually try to dull it all down as "just a bit of a manic cough" i think more to stop myself gettin all moppy about my reality, but i thought this is my reality. Im 21, its time i start accepting things properly and pulling my finger out my arse! So thats what im doing :) Im still struggling to get back into my old nebs routine, but im really getting there. Dave (my personal trainer) went away from the consultation meeting and did lots of research about CF and all the meds that im on and everything, so hes properly clued up! This really settled me. Im usually like most CFers i think pretty embarressed about the whole coughing up lovely looking mucus and things like that, but hes always on hand for tissues, making sure im getting it out like im meant to, making sure im hydrated and not pushing myself too much, but just enough to get things working.

I have problems with not knowing my limits, and then if i do know my limits with something i ignore them and push on anyway. It gets me into problems a lot. But hes keeping me in check! Making sure i start off small bits and working my way up to longer exercise routines. I managed 10mins in my first session and then 15 mins in my second session. I felt a bit pathetic after that first session for only having been able to manage just a meger 10mins of exercise, but he said that its 10mins of exercise i didnt do yesterday and so thats something to be pleased of! I was still a bit annoyed at myself, but i think that it was just my stubborness of not recognising my limits showing through, as after i finished the 15mins session i was really pleased that i had managed to go for 5 mins longer than before! Im aiming for 20mins next time.

We've set a target of 55% lung function to be reached by my next hospital appointment, which is in December on the 3rd. Im 45% at the mo, so a 10% gain is a realistic goal that i feel i can reach! Im so happy :)

Im also feeling inspired lately, which is helping me with my Uni work! Im doing a lot more sketches of random layouts for sites, and i just dug all my old art and crafts stuff out my cupboard and feeling even more inspired to get back into my creative self.

I honestly hadn't realised how much i had changed lately and just seemed to stop bothering with anything that made me happy, as i guess i didnt see the point for some reason. But last night i was feeling the happiest ive felt in a long time, and i was making mum laugh by being the idiot that i am :) and she said that it was good to see me getting back to my old self. Apparently i had been really moody and sad a lot lately and i hadn't noticed.

Its amazing what a bit of exercise can do for you! Can't wait to get back to the gym next week!

Now all i need is for the weather to clear up so i can get out and take some pretty pics with my new camera!!