Rant

So it seems im not the only one who is feeling pretty rubbish right now. I was told at my last hospital appointment that im stuck with Cepacia for good. grand. and they tried to put my on some oral antibiotics as i was so sick and in pain from my IVs that i made them take the line out, and i went onto something called co-trimoxazole(sp?) and after a few days had to come off them! They felt like they were working aswell for my chest and apparently they are meant to be really good against Cepacia. But my body didnt seem to like them and i got the side affects of a rash on my head which was itchey if i did anything so washing my hair became a real pain in the arse (more so anyway as i cant seem to take a shower lately without having a coughing fit :| ) and my bones and muscles were sooo painful some nights i could barely move! I was takin Ibuprofen all the time (within the required dose) and also using this nurofen muscle rub which seemed to help some before i went to sleep. That went on for about a week and was really horrible as it was during all that snow aswell so it was uber cold to go out and try and move about and get fresh air, as i get the cold in my joints easily as it is!
So ive been trying really hard to keep up with physio and get some weight back on me, and i was doing really well and felt liked id put weight on and now im back at uni and i dont have the time to eat like i did at home - or the money all the time, and apparently im not entitled to any benefits unless i get a job thats 16+hours then i can claim working tax credits i think it is, and im on low rate DLA.With uni i havnt got the time to work 6 hours let alone 16+hours! I spend too much time trying to keep on top of my work load, do my physio, eat, and understand what the hell im doing on this course without freaking out too much!

Now ive got a cold :( and i feel like im at deaths door like anyone does with a cold. My chest is really shit and i cant even walk from the bus stop at uni to my lecture room without getting well out of breathe and tired. All my friends keep asking me whats wrong and ive told them thousands of times its coz i cant breathe like they can basically so im guna feel like shit even when i slap a smile on my face and pretend im funky dorey, but they dont seem to listen and so keep asking me thus me getting annoyed with them and shutting myself in my room for hours just to try and get some peace.

Which doesnt always happen as theres a friend of mine back home who is constantly ringing/texting me and he just does nothing but piss me off lately. I told him yesterday ive got a horrid cold and before i said that he was fine and then as soon as i said that he was all like "oh yeah ive been feeling a bit rough today, ill see how i am in the morning if i go to work or not" He barely works and when he does its the bare minimum he can get away with! He has asthma so i get that his chest is going to feel crap sometimes aswell, but to be perfectly honest he gets no sympathy from me when he says that as he smokes like a chimney so hes causing himself his own rod for his back....

Ive literally just started term for uni yesterday and already feel like im drowning as ive been reminded over and over about sorting out a placement and if i dont know if i want to do one yet i cant really sort anything out. Ive also got notices going up about coursework being set soon and i just feel out my depth already.

At least my port operation is set for the 12th Feb. Some members of my family are annoying me already about that. But thats for another blog. Ive ranted enough for now.