Reality Check :(

Sorry in advance if this offends anyone.... It shouldn't, but just in case....

As anyone who has read the "about me" part of this blog you know that I have Cystic Fibrosis and most people reading this, most likely knows what that is and what it entails everyday.

Now I don't know many other people who also have CF, but I've met a few people recently on the CF forums. That has been nice to finally talk after so long of not talking to anyone else who can share to the same degree what having CF can feel like emotional, mentally, and physically. It's something that can't be fully understood unless you are a sufferer of it. I don't want that to upset anyone who reads this who I talk to who don't have CF but know me, so I'm sorry....

A few people I've met on the forums recently, know some other people who are far worse than the degree I am right now, and some of them people have just got onto the organ donor list to receive new lungs, congratulations to them, even if I don't know them.

Before I signed up to the CF forums my view of CF for me personally was that it was a hassle yes, but it was a case of just deal and get on with it. That still is the case, however the forums have made me realise the worse degree of CF for example something like 16% lung function and forever getting "false calls" about receiveing those new lungs or that shiny new liver, and always being let down at the last minute.

Its been a bit of a reality check for me if I'm perfectly honest. I didn't use to think of my CF ever getting that bad, and it still might not, I could be lucky. But its been shocking and also upsetting to have it shown to be that this disease does kill. I already knew that of course, but without seeing is to not believe really. I didn't want to accept to myself that this COULD one day kill me, no matter how compliant I am with physio and general care everyday.

I'm glad I've had the reality check as its made me see sense for myself before its too late. Yes I will probably still complain to some people when I am on IV's again, and I will still grumble to myself about having to take so many pills everyday and always having to do physio and nebulisers etc etc, but I'll be thinking all the time of the people who have lost the battle against CF, and I will still keep plodding along and fighting for me and for them, and hoping for a cure one day.

Even though I didn't know the people personally like some of the other people did, but I hope they are resting and breathing easy now. The fight that they put up against CF, gives me the motivation to keep on going and to take care of myself everyday....

Breath Easy everyone....

xx