Feeling Loved...

Or not so much in this case.
This posting is a little bit of a rant.

I'm still finishing up the last little bits of Uni work, and one of them being a team project for something called Consultancy Project. This is where we were given a real life client (compared to the previous year in a similar module where we were given a client from within the Uni) who needed something technical doing, whether that meant they wanted a database of something created and applied to their systems already in use, or just a new or redesign of their existing website we were given the task to do this as if we were doing this in real life and not for a Uni module.

Right now me and my team for this module are finishing up the last piece of written work for it which is the final report of how everything went, from the first initial meeting to the sign off and leg work afterwards. During a large part of what ill call "phase 3" i was incredibly ill and was either in hospital or at home resting and on IVs. Hence i couldn't attend Uni.
My team mates were incredibly understanding of which i thank them for immensely as theres nothing worse than non-understanding team mates about something totally beyond your control.
I managed still to keep up with the project progress and still managed to do some share of the work, but with either no Internet access when in hospital or no energy to barely type when at home i was very limited in what work i could do and how much of it i could do. My team did pick up a lot of the slack and for that we managed to stay on track and finish deadlines in time.

But towards the end of this project as I've not been able to go back from being unwell, the information about the project they have been telling me has been less and less. Now i find out theres a team meeting tomorrow and i found out through facebook of one of the team members. No one had bothered to tell me! I have improved somewhat from a few months ago and might have been able to prepare for a trip to Bristol if they had told me in advance, but they didn't even bother to see if i could attend.
It is only to put together the final report and i think to hand it in, but that's not really the point for me. I am still a member of that team and its like because I've been away from them for so long now due to being unwell, they have forgotten to include me in the project progression. It makes me wonder what else i don't even know about!

It has pissed me off a little and i think rightly so. Its not just Uni team mates for coursework that forget about me because i cant do what they all do so naturally, like move about so easily or even hell just breath so easily!! It really feels like its a case of "out of sight, out of mind".
Ive got no friends who ask me how i am (baring Emily, but shes a lot more than a friend, shes my person. Only she will understand that reference.), none of them visit/ed me in hospital when i was living with them. Once when Emily was just heading out the door to get the bus to come see me one evening in hospital one of the other housemates asked if she was going to see me, Em replied yes, thinking this person wanted to come as well, but was instead handed some coursework for me to complete from her. They were not doing anything and i know they had the time to come and see me, and its not as if they could complain about bus fare as they had a free bus pass from the uni for a bus that stopped right outside the dam hospital i was in!

I guess the ranting point I'm trying to make is, that the sicker i get (and I'm sure this applies for other CFers as well) the less my so called friends want to know me. Its like its too much effort for them to have a disabled friend i guess, for them to have a friend who needs a bit of extra care and help sometimes. It really disgusts me sometimes, how selfish, and dam right two faced some people can be. If the tables were turnt on some of the people i know, they would be stamping their feet for not getting enough attention and heart felt crys of sorrow for their impossible situation of ill health!!

Because God forbid they should be "out of sight, out of mind".

Thank god for my Mum and Emily. At least i know I've got at least 2 true friends in this life and world.