everything all at once..

Im really not sure how i can put up with everything for much longer! I just really want to go home to my mum!

I dont what is wrong with me but i think as does a lot of other people think ive got a very rough virus! Last time i was on IV's was Xmas time i finished them on xmas eve, and then went back a few weeks later in the new year (so this year) and i was put on something called Septrum. After a few days of taking that i got really really itchey all over my body, especially my scalp which was soo annoying!! Also every single joint of mine was soooo much pain! I could barely move, my mum had to help me a lot, like dressing, climbing stairs, even simple things like opening bottles coz i couldnt move my fingers to grip anything properly at all.... I thot all of that was an allergic reaction to the Septrum as everything i had was listed on the reactions list that come with the meds. So i stopped taking them and after about a week or so it cleared up.

Well now all them symptoms are back, and it seems to be with a huge vengance :'( I literally cannot move without nearly crying from pain in every part of my body! My head is banging and my throat is so sore it hurts so much to swallow, so trying to keep my fluids up and keep eating is very painful!

My fingers, knees, and ankles are swollen, im not sure about anything else, coz it hurts to much to move to check it out...

All this is making me feel so low and fed up, and angry as well coz bad health for me just doesnt seem to want to let up lately! I tried to avoid IV's until i had my port put it coz my veins hide from the lines and last time it took 3 very painful attempts to get a line in :( Then i had my port in, that went all fine, started my IV's all was going fine, was plowing myself with physio, but not to the point of overdoing it, and my lung function didnt budge a single %, so i was really disappointed! So i kept on trying and trying and then it went down!! Literally wanted to scream, no matter how knackered it made me!! Finally the day i was dischared it went up by 2%.... doesnt sound a lot, but after all that had happened (or not happened) i pretty much nearly cried at that 2%!! Then i came home, had a nice time relaxing at mums.... and i was relaxed! I had no stresses of uni bugging me, no people make me feel so tiny and guilty for being ill and not able to attend uni like they do, or put all the effort into their work like they do. I work dam hard at uni and it feels like im getting everything chucked in my face!!

I really just cant be bothered with uni anymore, i want to leave. I cant juggle my health and uni at the same time and i want to quit one. If i could quit CF i would have done ages ago, but i cant, which just leave Uni to quit. I know my mum wants me home so she can take care of me, lord knows she would do a better job of it than i am right now!!

Im just fed up and nearing the end of my teather :'(

Ive got 6/7 assignments all due in for the 25th March 2pm, ive barely been able to start any of them from being so ill and in so much pain... for sketches i cant hold a pencil properly!

But if i dont hand anything in for my work then i fail my module or my course im not totally sure. But im so lost for motivation that im "this close" to just saying fuck it to all my work and not bothering anymore!

Like i said i just want to go home...