True Friends are rare

So im nearing on being in hospital for a month now! That is good and bad. Good as its meant they have been able to see me on a daily basis and can see what i mean about things i tell them when i have clinic appointments as an outpatient. Its also meant they have been able to run some tests that they cant usualy do for me as an outpatient, just so that they know ive not got this happening or that isnt beginning blah blah the usual. I also think its bad considering i wasnt planning on being in here for more than a week let a lone nearly a month! But when i got here i think i realised how fed up and exhausted i am with all this "keeping heathly" business im trying my hardest ever at. At least being in here ive not had to worry about making meals and doing my own IV's. Its all been done for me which has allowed me to try and pick up and rest up. Thats not totally been the case but im hoping things are starting to get back on track now.

The thing thats really starting to get me down is my so called friends. Its very true that when faced with a tough situation you find out who your true friends are!
I live with 4 other people, two i lived with in my first year on campus and two are from my course. One of the people who i lived with last year and this year ive mentioned a few times in previous blogs. Shes called Emily and i honestly think i would be in a mental house wearing a straight jacket had it not been for her and her true friendship. Shes always been there for me since the first day we both moved into the flat on campus. I remember we went out for a drink that night and we got to know each other in a matter of a few hours. I knew from that night we would be very close friends.

Weve both been there for each other in hours of need, and more so i think. I hope shed agree!

So i bet your wondering why im getting so low about friendships.... well out of all the people who i live with, she is the only one who it feels like she hasnt forgotten about me. I actually thought that i had a great group of friends for a change who would all stick with me and help me through rough times whether that be health, uni or general life situations that are sent to test us. But it seems i was wrong again. Or so it feels. Emily is the only one who as i said has stuck by me in what has been the roughest time ive ever had with my CF. Shes visited me in hospital countless times, even when she had loads of work on, or was just plain shattered! She has let me rant and moan about doctors, health, feelings, you name it ive bitched about it to her... Yet the others have all known my situation im in at the moment, and not once have they bothered to come and visit me. There was once when emily was on the way out and one of the people living with us asked if she was coming to see me, thinking this person was wanting to come with she said yeah, but instead got handed a load of coursework for her to pass onto me!! They have only asked me how im doing if i have text them to ask them something, or they have seen via facebook that ive had a shit day.

So yeah im pretty fed up and if im honest really angry at them. I get that they have had lots of coursework on as well, and they have a social life, or hate hospitals all the usual crap, but at the end of the day, if your a true friend then should that all not matter when it comes to helping a friend in need of a friendly face, and a giggle to cheer her up?

I was going to ask if they all wanted to come and visit and maybe go for a short meal somewhere in town (providing i was allowed out) but to be honest i cant be bothered with them anymore. I figure that if they really want to come and see me then they would do it off their own back. Im tired of making excuses for them to myself, like "oh im sure they just have a lot of work on" or "i bet they are just really tired from the day/week at uni"...

So ive got my mum and ive got Emily. They seem to be all i need in this world to survive tough times and to make happy memories with. I just hope these "so called friends" dont expect me to go out my way when they have a life situation they need support in getting through.

Oh if they could spend a day in my shoes, what they would realise would be life changing im sure of it!